This is my Name: A Parody
by Gayle Cato
Summary: A short parody.
1. The First Encounter

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

(If this Oneshot is any indication perhaps you can be glad I do not) :P

Author's Note: I'm not quite sure where this came from. I was looking for a new fan fiction to read when the suddenly the idea pops into my head and within two hours both chapters were written and posted... how strange is that!

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><p><span>Chapter One<span>

_The First Encounter  
><em>

. . .

At Hogwarts everyone tells me that I am beautiful, but I don't believe them. I have long silver hair shining like moonlight in the deepest night. I have the best grades of any student ever to attend Hogwarts since the days of my ancestors the founders themselves. I am dark and stormy and lovely and sad. I am kind to one and all. I laugh and I smile but it's no different than the velvet and satin robes I wear, icy white and trimmed in lace. The uniform I wear is only a show to hide the scars upon my flawless skin. I speak to the serpents at night and as I sit on the lake side I look to the stars and I weep a single tear for all that I have lost. I am the epitome of desolation, so much so that even the giant squid finds pity for my plight

I remember the faces of my parent as they did there best to protect their baby girl who was only three days old. I grabbed my father's wand and I cast a shield charm so strong that even the Avada couldn't get through, Voldemort was quite impressed and so he didn't kill me after all. Some times I hate Voldemort, because he killed my parents but sometimes I love him too. He took me in; he adopted me off the streets and treated me as if I were his own daughter. I sing my pure voice bringing pride to my father's eyes as I perform for his Death Eaters.

When it raining outside I like to draw portraits of my long dead parents that I might never forget their faces. Seeing the images I have drawn I feel a gaping hole in the very center of being, but I know they are still with me, they speak to me in my dreams and though I cannot see there faces without feeling the terrible pain of their suffering , I don't look away. Everyone in the school wants to be with me, even the teachers and the house elves. I push them all away waiting for the one, the only one. I am waiting for him, for Harry Potter.

Today I passed my love in the corridor as I saw his face all the books tumbled from my arms, are eyes met for a single moment. His deep emerald orbs clashed with my own violet ones and there was a torrent of such passion and understanding that it took my breath away. I walked away and didn't look back. I smiled so sadly that none of the Slytherins could meet my gaze, and Draco Malfoy determined to try fainted to the ground as my fiery expression pierced his heart.

We didn't speak, my love and I, but I left my potions' textbook laying in the middle of the hall behind me.

Harry Potter will read the book cover to cover and I just know what it will be like when he opens to that first page and sees my cursive handwriting, so beautiful that the Daily Profit pays me to write the final copies of all of their papers in the morning before they send them to there customers. I know how it will be, he will open that book he will read my name…

Mai Reysuma Nadioc Nya-Night Sali-Way Ven'Haem.

Then he too will know that deepest secret I have hid within my soul, and he will love me for it.

. . .


	2. The Greatest Secret

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, etc.

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

_The Greatest Secret_

. . .

As I practice my ancient magic and my ballroom dancing, so that I can be prepared, both for my fathers plans to take over Hogwarts and for the day when Harry asks for my hand in marriage I hear a voice in the bathroom above. It's him I know it must be. I called him here myself; I can speak to Harry in my mind of course. When Voldemort killed my family he made me into one of his horcruxes. Naturally I can communicate with my father the Dark Lord and all the horcruxes as well. The Chosen One, my one and only, he comes to meet me in the Chamber of secrets. He looks as me with burning eyes of love and sorrow.

"Your Voldemort's Secret Daughter" he says, and I find that he has broken the silence in such an exquisite fashion as to make its pieces seem far more lovely than ever the whole had been.

"You're lying!" I scream as I run away. But he isn't lying, how did he know? Could he have seen my secret? Quickly I use my powers of Advanced Apparition and I am back again, by his side forever. "How did you guess?"

"It was this place that made me see it" he says holding his arms out wide, spread as if to encompass the whole of the cavern. "This place is Salazar Slytherin's greatest Secret. I know that, and now I know yours too."

I stare at him lovingly and as he speaks I am dreaming of our marriage, I can almost see it. I will where a long dress in seven shades of snowy white. It will be a strapless gown with a train of sixty feet and a lace up corset in the back all silver with scarlet lacing. My gossamer cape will flutter wide as fairy wings an I will wear a veil of golden lace, diamonds along every hem. My ring will be of emeralds and amethysts, his eyes and mine, together at last.

"I knew" he says when I first saw your name, Voldemort must have taught you how to do it" His eyes are misty with the remembering, his voice shaking with emotion. "He taught me too you know, right here. In this very place"

. . .

_Tom Marvolo Riddle_

_I am Lord Voldemort_

. . .

_Mai Reysuma Nadioc Nya-Night Sali-Way Ven'Haem._

_I'm a Mary Sue. I can do anything. I always have men_

. . .

"I know your secret now" he tells me. Our eyes meet for that magical second moment. Suddenly I can see the future in the depths of his shining eyes. I spoke prophecy, then and there.

. . .

**The first born son will be named Sue.**

**He shall be named after the three greatest magic users of all the time.**

**Named after mother, father, grandfather  
><strong>

**Sue Voldemort Jr. Potter**

**He will be greatest of all**

**He will become our little Gary Stu**

. . .


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